2nd draft of application essay

I just finished a revised draft. Thanks to everyone who emailed me or commented on the blog, it was infinitely helpful. For this draft I added a little background and revised some wording, and it should be pretty close to final. The next part of the essay will map out my academic plans and how i hope to formulate the rest of my curriculum based on my desire to communicate more effectively. I may or may not post that stuff tonight, but i will be posting the whole thing after i submit it - in a more blog friendly format (links and pictures!).

The architectural education emphasizes a limited, albeit effective approach to communication. We are formally taught how to express 'architectural' ideas to our potential clients using a handful of architectural tools and graphic expressions. This is adequate if the discipline retains its current, narrowly defined role. But that is not what architecture is, it is not what we learn in our education, and architects do not always act upon this capacity. Between the widespread momentum of the environmental movement, the technological advances and availability in three-dimensional computer software and the staggering unemployment rate, there is a competitive advantage to be more responsive and adaptive to the role an architect plays in a project. Supplementing these factors is a general undercurrent, noticeable in the profession and unavoidable in our particular student body, that design should not be available only for those who can afford it. Architects have an increased incentive and responsibility to change the general public's perception of their roles in the pursuit of a better built (or non-built) environment. Those who are willing to take a more active role in response to these changes are the ones who will shape the way our profession is defined in the years to come. They are using their skills as problem solvers and extending their reach to become problem identifiers. To do this, they need to be experts of communication - not just of traditional 'architectural' communication, but of communication to a vastly diverse and ever changing audience - in order to help make more informed, better educated decisions about the implications of their clients’ actions. 

Again, grammar and style edits are still welcome!